MILITARY LANGUAGE CONVERSION CHART: Navy/USMC to Army to Air Force

MILITARY LANGUAGE CONVERSION CHART

Your Business Blogger once held a Top Secret Security clearance. This post is cleared for less than FOUO.*

Now that the US military is pushing for a Joint Service environment, we, as former service members, have to learn a different language. Therefore, this chart was created to assist in that area to help bridge the gap of service respective languages.

NAVY / USMC ………………ARMY …………………..AIR FORCE

Head…………………………………..Latrine ………………………………..Powder Room

Rack…………………………………..Bunk ………………… ………………..Single with ruffle and duvet

Mess Deck / Chow Hall ……….Mess Hall / Mess Tent …………..Dining Facility or ‘The Cafe’

Die for your Country ……………Die for your Battle Buddy ……….Die for Air Conditioning

‘Cookie’, stew burner …………..Mess Cook ………………… ……….Contract Chef

Coffee / Mud ………………………Cup of Joe ………………… ……….Vanilla Skim Latte’

Bug Juice ………………… ……….Kool-Aid ………………… …………..Shirley Temple

Utilities / Digitals ………………… BDUs / ACUs ………………… …….Casual Wear

Seaman / Private ………………… Private ………………… …………….Bobby / Jimmy

Chief / Gunny ………………………Sergeant ………………… …………Bob / Jim

Captain / Skipper ………………… Colonel ………………… ……………Robert / James

Captain’s Mast ………………… ….Article 15 ………………… ………..Time Out

Berthing / Barracks ………………Barracks ………………… …………Apartment

Skivvies / U-Trau ………………… Underwear ………………… ……..Undies

Thrown in the Brig ……………….Put in Confinement ………………..Grounded

Zoom Bag ………………… ……….Flight Suit ………………… ………..Business Casual

Cover / Head Gear ………………Beret ………………… ……………….Optional

Ship’s Store / NEX ……………….PX (PX Trailer) ………………… …AAFES Shopping Mall

TAD ………………… ……………….TDY ………………… …………………PCS with family

Cruise / Afloat …………………….Deploy ………………… …………….Huh?

Ground Grabbers ………………..Athletic Shoes ………………… …Flip-Flops

Shipmate / Marine ………………..Battle Buddy ………………… ……Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell or Honey

Terminate / Kill ……………………Take Out ………………… …………Back on Base for Happy Hour

Boon Dockers …………………….Jump Boots ………………… ……Birkenstocks

Low Quarters ………………… Low Quarters ………………… …….Patent Leather Pump

SEAL ………………… …………..SF/Ranger ………………… …………Librarian

Shore Patrol / MPs …………….MPs ………………… ………………… SF

Oouh-Rah! ……………………….Hoo-ah! ………………… ……………..Hip-Hip hurray!

MRE ………………………………. MRE ………………… …………………Happy Meal To Go

Salute …………………………….Salute ………………… …………………Wave

Obstacle Course ………………Confidence Course ………………… .Class 6 Parking Lot

Grinder / Drill Field …………….Parade Field ………………… ………….What?

Ge-Dunk ………………………… Snack Bar ………………… ……………Chuck E. Cheese

PT Test ………………………….. APFT ………………… ………………… ‘No conversion available’

Dept. of the Navy ……………..DoD ………………… …………………DoD Lite

Midshipman ……………………..Cadet ………………… ……………….Debutant

Hard-Core ……………………….Strak ………………… …………………’Way Too Serious’

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* FOUO: For Official Use Only, the lowest level of classification

Thankyou (foot)note to Stan Honour for passing this along.

And see more on military observations, at the jump. Overheard Combatant Command Staff Officer Discourse:

“Whatever happened to good old-fashioned military leadership? Just task the first two people you see.”

“His knowledge on that topic is only power point deep…” MAJ (JS)

“I need intelligence, not information.” Maj (EUCOM)

“I am so far down the food chain that I’ve got plankton bites on my butt.”

From John Howland and the USNA-At-Large, credit: George Dean

“If I’d had more time, I’da written a shorter brief…” Derived from the writings of Mark Twain

“Vision without funding is hallucination.” Maj (EUCOM)

“I work at EUCOM. I know bullsh!t when I see it.” LTC (EUCOM) in a game of office poker

“You only know as much as you don’t know.” GO (EUCOM)

“I’m just livin’ the dream…” EUCOM staffer response to the question, “How’s it going?” or, “What are you doing?”

“I’m just ranting…I have nothing useful to say.” LTC (EUCOM)

“Why would an enemy want to bomb this place and end all the confusion?” GS-14 (EUCOM)

“How soon before we can give this guy a medal, a good OER, and send him on his way?” GS-12 (EUCOM) referring to his boss

“Other than the fact that there’s no beer, an early curfew and women that wear face coverings for a reason, Kabul is really a wonderful place to visit.” LTC (CENTCOM)

“It was seen, visually.” LTC (EUCOM) during a Reconnaissance briefing

“Let me tell you about the benefits of being on a staff… This should be a short conversation.” LtCol to Lt Col (EUCOM)

“I’m planning on taking the weekend off…notionally…” LT (EUCOM) midway through a huge, simulated command exercise

“‘Leaning forward’ is really just the first phase of ‘falling on your face.'” Col (MARFOREUR)

“I’ve heard of ‘buzzwords’ before but I have never experienced a ‘buzz sentence’ or a ‘buzz paragraph’ until today.” Maj (EUCOM) after listening to a JFCOM trainer/mentor

“We’ve got to start collaborating between the collaboration systems.”

“Our plan for the Olympics is to take all the ops and put it in the special room we have developed for ops.” GO/FO (EUCOM)

“Did you hear that they’re canning Bob Edwards on NPR?” “Why? Did they catch him standing up for the National Anthem or something?” COL to CDR (EUCOM)

“Not to be uncooperative, but we’re just being uncooperative.” CDR (EUCOM) in an email response to a request for information

“We’re from the nuke shop, sir. We’re the crazy aunt in the closet that nobody likes to talk about …” LtCol to GO/FO (EUCOM) in briefings

“We the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much for so long with so little, that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.” Anonymous, but classic…

“The ‘L’ in CENTCOM stands for leadership…”

“At this Command, we have written in large, black letters: DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) on the back of our security badges.” Maj (CENTCOM)

“He cloaked himself in an impenetrable veneer of terminology.” Lt Col (JFCOM) describing the JFCOM alpha male

“Transformation has long been the buzzword for those that are dispossessed, dispirited and disillusioned…” Chaplain (EUCOM), allegedly talking about the Disciples…

“There are more disconnects on this issue than CENTCOM has staff officers.” GO/FO (EUCOM)

“Is that a Navy or a Marine admiral?” MAJ (EUCOM)

“Your key Issues are so 2006…” CPT (CJTF-180) in January 2007

“That’s FUBIJAR.” COL (CENTCOM) (Fu–ed Up, But I’m Just a Reservist… )

“As far as I’m concerned, I’m the only one that matters in here.” COL (CENTCOM)

“No matter how hard this Command beats me down, I am still able to get it up.” Maj (EUCOM)

“I keep myself confused on purpose, just in case I am captured and fall into enemy hands!” GO/FO (CENTCOM)

“Cheese-dickery abounds at this Command.” LtCol (EUCOM)

“Does anybody around here remember if I did anything this year?” LTC (EUCOM) preparing his Officer Evaluation Report support form

“This is all happening because we had the sympathetic detonation of a stress grenade.” Maj (EUCOM) after an insignificant issue became a theater focus because somebody used the “Reply all” function

“I’d be happy to classify this document for you. Could you tell me its classification?” GS11 (EUCOM) in an email from the Foreign Disclosure office

“Nothing is too good for you guys…and that’s exactly what you’re gonna get…” LTC (EUCOM) describing the way Army policy is formulated

“The only thing that sucks worse than being me is being you…” LTC (EUCOM)

“Why should I worry? Nobody here outranks me by that much.” MAJ (SOCEUR) briefing a group of 0-6s

“I have to know what I don’t know…” Col (CENTCOM) during a shift changeover briefing

“No. Now I’m simply confused at a higher level…” Foreign GO/FO when asked if he had any questions following a transformation brief at JFCOM

“I just realized that this War on Terror might take a little longer than we thought, so I am developing a new system of hanging charts on walls to solve our problem and win the war.” LTC (EUCOM) after a review of long range Counter Terrorism (CT) plans

“Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress.”

“None of us is as dumb as all of us.” Excerpted from a brief (EUCOM)

“Things are looking up for us here. In fact, Papua-New Guinea is thinking of offering two platoons: one of Infantry (headhunters) and one of engineers (hut builders). They want to eat any Iraqis they kill. We’ve got no issues with that, but State is being anal about it.” LTC (JS) on OIF coalition-building

“It’s not a lot of work unless you have to do it.” LTC (EUCOM)

“I’m gonna have to leave work early today and probably stay home tomorrow. I’m fighting off a cold and I want to beat it before I start my leave in two days.” MAJ (EUCOM)

“Creating smoking holes gives our lives meaning and enhances our manliness.” LTC (EUCOM) at a CT conference

“Interagency is a process, not a noun.” Anonymous (EUCOM)

“Eventually, we have to ‘make nice’ with the French, although, since I’m new in my job, I have every expectation that I’ll be contradicted.” DOS (Department of State) rep at a Counter Terrorism Conference

“Everyone should have an equal chance, but not everyone is equal.”

“You can get drunk enough to do most anything, but you have to realize going in that there are some things that, once you sober up and realize what you have done, will lead you to either grab a 12-gauge or stay drunk for the rest of your life.”

“Once you accept that a dog is a dog, you can’t get upset when it barks.” Lt Col (USSOCOM), excerpts

“That guy just won’t take ‘yes’ for an answer.” MAJ (EUCOM)

“Let’s just call Lessons Learned what they really are: ‘institutionalized scab picking.’”

“I can describe what it feels like being a Staff Officer in two words: distilled pain.” CDR (NAVEUR)

“When all else fails, simply revel in the absurdity of it all.” LCDR (CENTCOM)

“Never attribute to malice that which can be ascribed to sheer stupidity.” LTC (CENTCOM)

“Ya know, in this Command, if the world were supposed to end tomorrow, it would still happen behind schedule.” CWO4 (Chief Warrant Officer) (ret) (EUCOM)

“Even if Al-Qaeda nuked this place, the Chief of Staff would approve a 4-star visitor the very next day!” GS-12 (US government employee, grade 12) (EUCOM)

“Never pet a burning dog.” LTC (Tennessee National Guard)

“It’s basically announcing to the world that I’ve completely given up.” LT (USN F-14 squadron) on his initial feelings behind the wheel of his brand new minivan

“A staff action is like getting an out of state check, countersigned by a fraud on a phony ID: some of the time it clears, but most of the time, you’re screwed.” Lt Col (USAF)

“Ah, the joys of Paris: a unique chance to swill warm wine and be mesmerized by the dank ambrosia of unkempt armpits…” LCDR (NAVEUR)

“‘Status quo,’ as you know, is Latin for ‘the mess we’re in…'” Attributed to former President Ronald Reagan

“We are now past the good idea cutoff point…” MAJ (JS) on the fact that somebody always tries to “fine tune” a COA with more “good ideas”

“Who are you talking to? …Hang up the phone!” Lt Col mentoring MAJ (EUCOM) on how “to stay in his own lane…”

“The hardest thing about having a third child is switching from 1-on-1 to a zone defense.” MAJ (EUCOM)

“Nobody ever said you had to be smart to make 0-6 (Colonel).” Col (EUCOM)

“I haven’t complied with a darn thing and nothing bad has happened to me yet.”

“The first question I ask myself when tasked to do something that’s not obviously and overwhelmingly in my own best interest is, ‘Exactly what happens if I don’t do it?'”

“Accuracy and attention to detail take a certain amount of time.”

“No need to tip our hand as to how responsive we can be.” CDR (EUCOM) in a passdown to his replacement

“I seem to be rapidly approaching the apex of my mediocre career.” MAJ (JS)

“I think that my next set of orders will take me to Iraq. My career’s going so badly that I’m considered a ‘dead-ender.'” LtCol (EUCOM)

“One of the secrets to maintaining my positive attitude in this job is this: I complete no tasker before its time…” MAJ (EUCOM)

“It is nothing for US soldiers to be in the desert for a year without a woman. It is different for us, though, because we are Latin…” LTC (LATAM country) on one of the differences between Latin American soldiers and their US counterparts

“I’ll be right back. I have to go pound my nuts flat…” Lt Col (EUCOM) after being assigned a difficult tasker

“I guess this is the wrong power cord for the computer, huh?” LtCol (EUCOM) after the smoke cleared from plugging his 110V computer into a 220V outlet

“OK, this is too stupid for words.” LTC (JS)

“When you get right up to the line that you’re not supposed to cross, the only person in front of you will be me!” CDR (CENTCOM) on his view of the value of being politically correct in today’s military

“There’s nothing wrong with crossing that line a little bit, it’s jumping over it buck naked that will probably get you in trouble…” Lt Col (EUCOM) responding to the above

“I may be slow, but I do poor work…” MAJ (USAREUR)

“Great! What we really need are some more 0-5s (Lieutenant Colonel) around here…” MAJ (EUCOM) on the release of the list of 0-5 promotables

“Don’t ever be the first…don’t ever be the last…and don’t ever volunteer to do anything….” CDR (EUCOM) relating an ancient Navy truism

“Hey, somebody should really do that…” CDR (CENTCOM) on the CENTCOM tasking process

“Are you sure they aren’t writing about us? Hell, at least we should jump on that wholesale desertion thing…” Maj (CENTCOM) on the following report from a newspaper: “(The Iraqi military was crippled by)…a multitude of erratic orders and strategic miscalculations, while its fighting units barely communicated with one another and were paralyzed from a lack of direction…these woes were compounded by incompetence, poor preparation, craven leadership and (the) wholesale desertions of thousands of soldiers…”

“Cynicism is the smoke that rises from the ashes of burned out dreams.” Maj (CENTCOM) on the daily thrashings delivered to AOs (Action Officers) at his Command

“WE are the reason that Rumsfeld hates us…” LTC (EUCOM) doing some standard, Army self-flagellation

“South of the Alps and East of the Adriatic, paranoia is considered mental equilibrium…”

“The chance of success in these talks is the same as the number of “R’s” in “fat chance…”” GS-15 (SHAPE)

“We have no position on that issue. In fact, your position IS our position. Could you tell us what our position is?” CDR (TRANSCOM, Transportation Command) at a policy SVTC (Secure Video Teleconference)

“They also serve, who sit and surf the NIPR (the Department of Defense’s private internet).” CPT (CENTCOM)

“I hear so much about Ft. Bragg. Where is it?” “It’s in the western part of southeastern North Carolina.” LCDR and CPT (EUCOM)

“I’ve become the master of nodding my head and acting like I give a sh!t, and then instantly forgetting what the hell a person was saying the moment they walk away.” Flag-level Executive Assistant

“Mark my words, this internet thing is gonna catch on someday.” LTC (EUCOM)

“You’re not a loser. You’re just not my kind of winner…” GS-14 (OSD)

“He who strives for the minimum rarely attains it.” GS-12 (DOS)

“I’m tired of waiting on somebody who I know is just going to ignore me once they arrive.” Lt Col (EUCOM), while waiting to start a brief for a visiting VIP

“If you want to take down a country, gimme a call. We’ll get it done.” GO/FO (EUCOM) to a gathering of US Ambassadors

“Hello gentlemen. Are we in today or are you just ignoring my request?” GS-15 (DSCA) in an email to EUCOM staffers

“After seeing the way this place works, I bet that Mickey Mouse wears a EUCOM watch.” Maj (EUCOM)

“USCENTCOM commanders announced today that they intend to maintain their presence in Qatar “until the sun runs out of hydrogen,” thus committing the US to the longest duration deployment in human history. When asked how they planned to maintain the presence in Qatar for a projected length of 4 to 5 billion years, planners said “we’re working on a plan for that. We don’t have one yet, but not having a plan or an intelligent reason to do something has never been much of an impediment for us in the past; we don’t foresee it being a big show stopper for us in the future either.” Among the options that were being discussed was an innovative program to “interbreed” the deployed personnel. “We are going to actively encourage the military members in Qatar to intermarry and raise children that will replace them in the future. Sure, it may be a little hard on some of our female service members, since there currently are about 8 men for every woman over there, but we expect that to be OBE as the sex ratios will even out in a generation or two. In any case the key to the plan is to make these assignments not only permanent, but inheritable and hereditary. For example, if you currently work the JOC weather desk, so will your children, and their children, and their children, ad infinitum. We like to think of it as job security.” CPT (CJTF-180)