April 8; “It Is Not My Job,” So Says the Slacker
365 Daily Bible Verse &
One-Minute Management Lessons For The Busy Faithful


Chapter Four: Relationships; 8 April

…and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:33b

“It Is Not My Job,” So Says the Slacker


My Rabbi, Daniel Lapin, tells the story of how a man loves. A woman is going through a disfiguring infirmity where she will not survive. She fears her husband will leave her.

She complains to her Rabbi that her husband doesn’t always express emotion but attempts to reassure her that he will remain with her because that is his duty.

The old flame flamed out.

Yes the old curmudgeon husband could be a bit more joy-giving and perhaps show some additional amorous desire; some more of that love love. But in “love” what would matter more, the emotion or the duty?

Lapin reminded her that her husband will remain faithful to her and that she should be comforted: emotions can’t be trusted but duty can. The husband could be depended upon for his non-emotional responsibility, as he sees it, to do what he sees as his job.

She is confusing the duty of love with the emotion. Indeed, the husband is commanded to love his wife. Passion ebbs and flows. But duty is a constant.

Ephesians 5:33b …and the wife must respect her husband is not a conditional statement. And has a different emphasis for males and females. Because, yes, men and women are different.

The passage does not say,

Wives to husbands; If you are respectable, then I will respect you.

Husbands to Wives; If you are lovable, then I will love you.


Our actions should not dependent upon the actions of others. We should be in control of events and of our emotions.

We all want to love our jobs but sometimes the work and the people are just not that loveable. This is where the duty part of love will carry us. Our obligation, our duty will compel us when ecstatic emotions burn away.

The emotion of our labors and relationships will rise and fall. Character and obligation are the constants.



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