Walking The Red Carpet; In 7 Easy Steps.

L to R: Elaine Donnelly, President,

Your Business Blogger “Isn’t that Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame up ahead?” Asks Charmaine.

“I think so,” I said. “Quick, let’s get in their frame.”

Charmaine and Your Business Blogger are on The Red Carpet. Roped off from the unwashed masses as we enter the Washington Hilton for the White House Correspondent’s Dinner Saturday night. Cameras, flashing lights, squeals.

No. Not for us. George Clooney is here somewhere. Probably trying to get in our frame.

We are there for the reception only, courtesy NRO. But we still get a walk on the red side.

There is a science to RCW, Red Carpet Walking. It takes years of study. But this should be a part of your business etiquette.

Here’s Walking in 7 Steps:

1) Never a wear name tag. Ever see Madonna with badge on her breast? Or anything at all, besides traffic cones?

2) Drop the drink. It may be sparkling water, but looks like scotch and soda. Your board will think you are boozing it up. Or worse — you’re having a good time. Smiling with the staff.

3) Look back at your backdrop. Your assistant should handle this, but be aware of what’s behind you. If I did, I would have noticed the light poles growing out of our heads. See pic above. Not cool — even if the light poles were for the tennis courts where Justice Scalia was headed.

4) Delay at the door. This gives the person ahead of you time to clear out. It will also compress your posse behind you, if your entourage is to trail. Count to Five. Expectation mounts. Walk in with your head back and smile. They’ve been waiting for you.

5) Stop for the Paparazzi. And cameras. Even fast shutter times might blur. Walk slow. Smile. Again. The cameras never blink, as Dan Rather said.

6) Never wear a coat. Fur yes, but not outer winter wear. You are walking only from the limo car to the door. No need for a coat. And it hassles the staff. You don’t do coat checks.

7) Get in the picture. Now if Maria Bartoloma is ahead of you, cameras will follow her. Camera equipment, as has been well documented, is carried by lonely, sex-starved men. Photo-journalists are like 14-year-old boys, but on the payroll. Get close behind the celebrity, especially if it’s a woman. It makes it difficult to photoshop you out.

Now you know The Red Carpet. In case your daughter is part of the Academy Awards, or for your blockbuster IPO, or if you simply walk through the wrong door.

Like we did.

Thank you (foot)notes:

Cross Post at Management Training.

Read on the marketing brilliance of Chris Buckley’s Smoking at Tony Snow, Bimbo’s.

Be sure to read more at NRO’s The Corner.

Basil’s Blog has a picnic.

Open Post at Mudville Gazette.