I'm Buyin' Dunkin' . . .

Scrawled in big letters on the family calendar: Boycott Starbucks! Boycott Revlon! in the Dreamer’s handwriting, right next to where I had clipped the graph showing corporate political donations. (Starbucks 100% Democrats; Revlon 68% Democrats) She gets it!

In response to my earlier post saying “No more Starbucks for this girl,” Michael of Dallas wrote to ask:

So, as for coffee, where do you recommend buying? Fact is, Starbucks is doggone good . . .

I know, I know, it kills me to give up Starbucks, too. My husband is the serious coffee addict in our family and the big bags of Starbucks that they sell at Sam’s got me such marital bonding points. . .Sigh.

Plus, I am as susceptible as the next ’80’s yuppy to the BOBO seduction of Starbucks . . .so, what’s a girl to do??

Thank you for asking! The answer: Dunkin’ Donuts — 88% Republican!

BUY DUNKIN’ DONUTS COFFEE!

Think of it as the stylishly retro answer to the faux pretensions of Starbucks — no more of that super grah-nd-ey, whoop-de-doopdy, frappa-whatever. Just say large coffee!

And, mega-bonus — Dunkin’ Donuts also has. . .donuts, people! What could be more American?!

DONUTS ARE YUM!

For more of Michael’s counter-argument . . . see the extended entry. . .

Am I serious about this? You bet I am.

Still, Michael responds with a valid argument:

. . .the red/blue comparisons between companies can be deceptive. Southwest Airlines, for example, is classified as a “red” company, but for most of its history it would have been “blue.” That’s because they’re headquartered in Texas, which was until recently a one-party state. If you didn’t play the “blue” game, you’d get Microsofted at every turn and never get any say in legislative affairs. Southwest was blue when necessary, red when necessary, always and only to the company’s advantage.

Good point. Sure, I’ll buy that capitalist companies act in their self-interest, even — shoot, particularly so — in the political arena.

Fine. My point is that it is now in my self-interest not to buy from Starbucks anymore, now that I know they are practically a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Democratic party. That’s the way the system works.

I know that Starbucks wins on the style points every time. Look, we all know it’s not about the coffee. But, the beauty of our system is that a competitor could spring up overnight and take their uber-attitude thang to the next level.

It could even be Dunkin’ Donuts . . .